The beginning

Alright so another blog post, I’m actually really excited about this, the fact that I’m planning on doing a blog post every day for the month of April.

Whether or not anyone reads it isn’t really the point, the point is for me to get these thoughts out there and just be open with everything I’m thinking.

Another thing that was holding me back from starting my blog was fear; the fear of how personal I write would be and who would be the one reading it.  And I’ve always known that if you’re afraid of something, then that’s a reason to DO IT, instead of not doing it.

But blah blah this and blah blah that, you just gotta do it and worry about the consequences later.  You can spend a lifetime being indecisive and not get anything done, versus taking action and actually doing something, and even if it’s not the ‘right’ thing, at least you’ll have learned a lot in the process.

And so anyways, I feel like I’m kind of at a new beginning in my life.  A couple months ago I made the decision to [again] really be proactive with my life and direct its course through many different activities and goals all with a vision of my ideal future in mind.

I made the decision to go out to the bars 30 days in a row to work on my social skills and to work on meeting girls.  For much of my life I was completely lost when it came to the social realm, and even more lost in how to talk to or interact with girls, and so I became a student of this field.  What I’ve learned from this and the experiences that I’ve had have been an absolutely incredibly contribution to the quality of life that I enjoy now; and I find it hard to word that so that it doesn’t sound like an understatement.

So I made the decision to go out to bars 30 days in a row and put myself in these social situations.  And I didn’t always want to do it.  There would be plenty of nights when I would be meditating on the floor besides my bed before I went out, and all I could think about was how excited I was to finally come home from the bar and go to bed.  But since I made the commitment to go out I needed to do it, or else it would be signaling to my mind that my goals weren’t really important.

And after that 30 days what did I do?  I hit it on repeat and did it again.  I’m coming into the very tail end of it now, 56 days in a row as it stands, and it’s at the point where I really don’t want to go out at all and from one perspective my time could be much better spent doing other things, but once you make a commitment to do something you need to follow through with it.

One thing that this has shown me though is that I can do anything I want to.  Just the fact that I had the perservearance to go out that much, and to do it ridiculously underslept so many days in a row, shows me that I have the strength and drive to do anything I want.  And it’s easy to pay lip service and just talk about having this strength, but now its just such a deep understanding that I don’t even need to think about it, I just do it.

I now have a number of different goals and things that I’m working towards, but we can get into that in further posts.

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